Join Payden and Eve as they wrap up their 42-day challenge and this season! Also Explore as they talk about diving in with Jesus, walking in faith, navigating relationships, and what to look for next season!
Join Payden and Eve as they wrap up their 42-day challenge and this season! Also Explore as they talk about diving in with Jesus, walking in faith, navigating relationships, and what to look for next season!
hey, what's up. Y'all welcome. Back to the day in the life of podcast. It's E. And Peyton and we have officially met our 42 day more. And this is our last episode of this mini season. Um, we really hope y'all have enjoyed it and learned something. Whether you accomplished your goals, had big goals, small goals. You know, whatever you achieved, don't let yourself think of that. It's not an achievement if you didn't get it the first time. Yeah. I think this whole series was more about, you know, Not just being lazy and creating new habits for the kingdom of God, so that we can become the best versions of ourselves. And so. It's really, as long as you. Took something away from it to make yourself a better person, you know? That was our main goal was just so that we wouldn't take the shortcuts and that we would like. Take the long way, even though it where we want, we have a short attention span. Just by nature as humans, we want to take things. The lazy way or the short way, and that's not what God wants for us. Um, And cross points, sermon, you know, they were talking about. How God, sometimes he's going to want you to take the larder. The larger, the longer and harder route, because it's leading you closer to him and because it's shaping you and molding you into the person you're going to become. Yeah. Yeah. And that was kind of just what this whole thing was about. Like you said, We just want, you know, To grow for the Lord and we want. Us through the best versions of ourselves. And so, you know, I really do hope that you guys achieved that in this little series and. We just want to offer encouragement to keep going. If you want to keep going. Um, revise if you want to revise, but just now that we're proud of you, we're proud of ourselves, you know, It's a good thing to, you know, make change and it's always great to, you know, do it for the Lord. And, you know, sometimes it is always the harder way, but I think that's, what's so great about it is because. Nothing worth it is going to be easy. And I think that's really important to remember too, you know, as. As we come to a close that you should be proud, you should, you know, give the gore to God because she couldn't do without him. But, um, it's really, really important that nothing easy is worth it. Everything that is. The heart of nothing. Nothing. Hard is going to be what happened. I'm trying to say easy is worth it. It's what's before. The things that are hard, nothing worth it is going to be easy. There we go. Yeah. Yeah. Um, Yeah, we just, the main reason we wanted to do this was not just to be able to say we did something for 21 days and then 42 days, it was that we would be able to change ourselves as a whole, like we wanted to change our character and we wanted to be stronger people and we wanted to be stronger women. And we just wanted to be able to lift each other up and lift ourselves up and realize. You know, our first season was about. Finding your purpose. And so the season is kind of. Continuing that and just making, shaping yourself to be better. Yeah. Um, because it, we also saw stuff that was saying, you know, You're the shape of you is where you linger. Like where you linger is going to be your shape. Yeah. And that if you think about it, When I know that sometimes when I was doing it. These last 42 days, I would have to catch myself because I would be trying to rush through it. I'd be like, I need to pray, oh, I need to read this. I need to quickly make my bed or I'd be like, Today, I'm just going to sleep on top of my cover so that I'll have to make my bed in the morning. And it's where you put it's like, why did you want, what else did you have to do? Yeah. And so you're going to be lingering where you love and what you love, and you want to be. In the area of the things that you think are bringing you joy or fulfillment. And so. When you're pushing things for the Lord to the side, but you're doing other things you need to reflect on what that's actually getting you for your life. Yeah. You know, Um, I think that we kinda most, um, mostly figured out too, that you know, what we think we enjoy. That doesn't mean that the Lord actually causes us a lot more harm than good. Anxiety. Yeah. And it goes back to, you know, just developing good habits and coming, you know, planting those good seeds and producing good fruits. And so it is so true that you are what you hang around and you're going to become what you, what you sow. So it's just so important to set things up. Um, my word for the years of restoration or Russ being a store. And I think this, this little series has, has helped a lot with, you know, Last bureaus will help, um, just, you know, restoring my overall goal and becoming more like Jesus in a way. And so I think that's always good and, you know, It's never going to be easy. And when it comes up, we sometimes feel uncomfortable and we kind of like cry and screw up, or like, why am I even doing this? Why are you putting me in this situation? But oftentimes it's in the crushing and the meshing he's making Nuon and that's a great, that's a great song. If you've ever heard it, but, um, it's just really, really important. None of that. Even if you do go through hard things that you're going to, you're going to be better from it. Yeah. Um, cross points service specifically said that delay equals mercy. And so sometimes when God's delaying you from things. It's because he's actually being merciful because I mean, if you think about it, it's like a four way stop or something. If you just keep going. You're going to crash into somebody and you're going to get hurt, but it's the stop sign that's delaying you. Yeah. It's, it's being merciful. It's making sure that you become aware of your surroundings and it's making sure that you actually make it to the other side. Whereas if we had our way, we would just go full force into something and we want it, how we want it. We want it when we want it. But what we want isn't God's best plan for us. And I think that's something that we've really learned. These last few. Weeks. And even months that we've been doing the podcast, because we've gotten much deeper into God's word. And we realized that, you know, good things take time and. If it was easy, everyone would be doing it. And if it was easy, it wouldn't be worth anything, but God has you. And he specifically made you for a purpose and for his mission and it's. You know, I saw something today and it was talking about how, um, God is an artist. And so he's the artist that makes you the art. And. You. Are the reflection of him, like you being down here and people getting to admire you into, I mean, it's not just going to be off of our looks. I mean, people don't think, oh, God made that, you know, but if people see how you treat others and like, if you're showing. God's creativity and how he was able to create you. That's what we're here for, because no one is going to be able to do. For the kingdom of God, exactly what you were designed to do. Right, right. Because God has a specific purpose. Yeah. For sure. For your life. And I kind of wanted to go back to like, you know how you're talking about like good things. Take time. Like we, we often refer to, um, Planting seeds, but if you plant a seed, you can't expect a garden to grow overnight. No. And I think that's, what's so good is that you, once you plant that seed, you have to keep watering it and keep. You know, touching up and. The weeds, but that garden is going to grow. And as long as you've got, you know, all the right conditions, it's going to be fruitful. So I think that's, that's also really important, but I really loved seeing, you know, Going in this journey and like, kinda thinking about it in that way. Sorry. And if you add to it, like the conditions that you're talking about, like the watering and the cutting and the weeding and all of that, that's what we're doing. That's the habits that we're forming. Yeah. And so like getting into the word is watering ourselves or praying to God, that's the sun. You. It's everything that we need to be fruitful. That's what we're trying to do in our habits. And our day to day lives. Because, I mean, I know for a fact that the plants that I have, if I leave them outside and I don't water them, they die. Yeah. So it's the same with our lives. If you're leaving the plant outside, you're leaving yourself. To just go through every single day, but you're not actually giving yourself the nutrients of God's word, then you're not growing. And I think it's also important to not only do you have to have all those conditions. Like I said, and like you said, it takes Tom, like. He's merciful in the waiting, but like you can't expect it a huge change overnight. I think we kind of set that expectation in the forefront. Of this series is you have to kind of put in what you're going to get, but you also have to take in God's Tom for an account, you have to take into account, but it's Tom, because his time is always going to be the best timing and we might not understand it, but like you said, if we were going to run through that stop sign, then that would be on our time and we could get, you know, an, a coalition. We're going to hit something, but if it's on God's Tom. Then we'd stop and wait. And then when he tells us all clear, we go. But I think you also kind of have to think about this too, that God can't act on. Just not doing nothing. You can't, if you don't take a step. And, you know, start driving. In. I guess what I'm trying to, like, if you don't take a step into what he has for you. You have to take that step of faith. That was what everyone was talking about. Yeah. This week, there's been so many sermons. It's crazy to me. I asked if all the preachers are like in a group chat talking about what they're going to talk about this week. Cause I feel like they, the same ones I watched, I mean, it was baptism Sunday at long hollow, a few weeks ago. And then it was baptism Sunday at cross point the other day. And um, both of them were kind of talking about like taking the long way around the wilderness and how that was beneficial to them. But. I don't know where I was going. Oh, taking a step of faith. One of the, um, Sermons. It was Kevin at Crosspoint and he was saying, About how, um, he was talking about Joshua and like the parting of the seas and everything. And, you know, he said that it didn't part the same way it did for Moses. Because when Moses did it, he raised a staff. But when Joshua did it. He had to take that step. And so it was important to know that everyone's journey isn't going to be the same. And you can't pray for the exact same thing, because he was saying, you know, Joshua was probably like, well, is there a stick somewhere around here? I'm supposed to raise it up. And the Caesar's supposed to park. God was like, no, you're supposed to take the step. And so. One, you had to take that step that no one else had done before. But then it was going to be his story. It wasn't going to be the old story anymore. And, um, That also just reminded me of when Jesus was walking on water and called out to Simon, Peter, and he was like, take the step, you know? We always think that it would be easy to take the step, but if you actually think about somebody having you step off of a boat, You would not do it. But it also had me thinking and I was like, God could easily show everyone who he is like, Jesus could just. When Simon, Peter said he wanted to walk on water with him. Jesus could have levitated him the second. He said that and he could have brought him to him. But he didn't do that. He wanted to know that he had faith in him. And so Simon, Peter had to take that first step. Yeah. In order to get to Jesus. It wasn't like Jesus was going to lift him up and bring it to him. But once he took that step, Jesus had him and he wasn't going to drown. Yeah. So it's all about actually taking that first step and. It's like the walking by faith and not by sight. It's easy to believe once you've seen something. But it's the believing in it. That God really wants. He wants people to believe in him. Yeah. Yeah. And faith is so important. And the funny thing is about that story too. Like he knew he knew Jesus. He knew what Jesus could do, and he still had doubt. And we see things every day. God's gets us through situations every single day. And then yet we still have doubt in our lives and we still don't put our faith in him. Why? I don't know. But we still doubt and think sometimes that we can achieve our goals. And we're often fearful of taking that first step. And that's usually where we need to take the first step. You know, that was kind of like in both of those servers, it was kind of saying that. How you have to, you know, kind of go where your fear is because that's where the Lord kind of wants to, you know, take you and, you know, work through that. And. Just get through the hard things with him. So you rely on God and fully trusted in him. And it's just so it's so important to, you know, open your eyes to what he has for you. The only taking that first step, but also leaning on him and that's going to show how good he is and how amazing you know, that he works because everything's going to fall into, according to his plan. Even though you may not be able to see it. You know, having that faith and trust and lean against him, he's going to get you through it. Yeah. I love that. You brought up the thing about the fear being where your step is. And so your fear, what you fear most is where. You actually need to take a step because. You know, The Lord, doesn't give us a spirit of fear. We talked about that the other day. So it's really, what is the problem there? And is it from the enemy and how do I swap that from being. The enemy has a hold on my life into how can I turn this for Jesus? I think people need to think about, um, and I've just, it's been really eyeopening the last few months for me, because we did, um, our marriage counseling and in the love language book that we read. It was talking about your love languages and how. Most of the time, you can tell that people love each other in different ways because your love language is going to be what you constantly complain. The other person is lacking. So if I am saying that Caleb doesn't spend enough quality time with me, um, That means that my love language is quality time. And so it highlights that that's the area that you care the most about, and it kind of opens up a whole picture of why do I need to be worried about that? So I used this example earlier about. If. Driving and someone going slow and me getting road rage is such a big, like tick for me. I'm using this as an example. I'm not saying that I get road rage. Um, it's funny though, because I've actually been irritated watching other people get road rage. These last few days, and that's why I brought it up, but it kind of made me think like, Maybe when people do. Things like that. It's a little red flag of the areas in their life that they need time up, like time to work on. Because if you think about it, most of the time, I feel like people get road rage. Whenever they think someone's going slow. The other day I was driving and someone behind me was like, Yeah, telling me to like, go, go, go. But I was literally just going the speed limit and merging, like, it was not a big deal. Yeah. Whether I got in front of her or not because we were in traffic, but she was just in such a rush for me to move. And I was like, that's not a me problem. That's she has something that's affecting her. And so if that was me and I was dealing with that anger, maybe I would need to see like, Is it because I feel like I'm short on time. Is it because why, why do I have such frustration with people? Like why do I have such a short fuse when it comes to thinking that people are taking up my time? Am I stretched too thin? Yeah, I think that everything has a bigger issue. Oh, yeah. Behind it. A hundred percent and that it kind of just opened my eyes a little bit too. Like it is, there's always a root of a problem. I get so angry on the way to school in the mornings, but. I'm worried about being late. And if I would just leave a little bit earlier, then I wouldn't have those issues. And that stress when people drive slow on that, your state. It, it comes down to me leaving earlier, not the fact that they're going the speed limit. I should've left earlier and it's on me. And like you said, kind of like going back to the love language thing, like everything that you really have an issue. If it's something that you need to like combat within yourself. Yes. There's certain times where. You know, things aren't really your fault. People can be mean, but like, if it's like little things like that, then. Oftentimes, when you have an issue, there's a bigger problem in your heart than it is on the other person. Well, that's like two. Yeah. People can be mean, but I feel like it's been brought to my attention lately that I hold the grudge. For longer than I should. Like, if someone is rude to me at one point during the day, I will hold on to that until at least the next day. And it will just keep going in my mind and it's like, Well, that person was rude to me, but they've probably not thought about it twice and I'm dwelling on it and I am bitter and angry. And we already talked about last week. Good fruit can't grow off bitter trees. Um, but I'm just keep dwelling on it. So I really need to get to the root of problem. Why do I get so offended by things that people say to me, you. I'm supposed to be loving everyone because I'm supposed to be preaching that God made everyone in his own image, you know? And so I should be. The first person to be more patient with other people, but I struggle a lot with that. Yeah. And that's, you know, that kind of goes back to what we talked about. A few episodes ago about how we hold other people to away hotter saner than we hold ourselves. And we get so mad and upset with people, but. In reality, it's something that we shouldn't. And like we it's usually self causing, like usually our problems are self causing either what we made decisions that we weren't supposed to. We went away that wasn't the way the Lord's like, we're trying to think on our own. And we ended up, you know, holding grudges because, you know, We get angry. Like where you end up holding grudges because in the end it's something that we really. Struggled with. Yeah. Like we struggle with our, um, rather than, um, you know, letting it get to the lower back. Yeah. And you know, some people have a bad day, it ruins our entire day because somebody else is having a bad day, but that also makes you need to think too, like. How you speak to other people and how you do things because of what. When it happens to us, it's like, whoa, it's me. But. We get mad and angry with other people, just like we, they do it. Like that makes sense. Like we get. But get up so that other people just. Same way that they get. Like someone could have done something to them to make them act that way towards you. And it's a never ending cycle, but I think it's also, I feel like I learned this when I was kid or at least heard people say it, but like, it's hard to be mean to someone that's being overly kind to you. Like if. You're just responding nicely and asking people about their day and being sweet to them. They're not gonna, I mean, it might take awhile, but after so long, they're going to grow to like you and they're not going to. Go out of their way to be rude to you or be mean to you because I feel like deep down people want to be good people and they want to like other people, but it's easy to. Take something somebody does one time, a certain type of way. And then you instantly. Have a grudge against each other when you could be. Being overly nice to that person. And then they'd be like, why did I even think that they didn't like me? And then y'all become friends, most likely. And that's when the spirit of God kind of comes into because. We can get so offended when people are sending to us. But if we like, just kill them back with kindness, like we know like that's God's to remit coming out at us and it's not going to affect us one way or the other, because we know that. We have empathy for them. And we kind of like, you know, we see what they're going through. Maybe they're having a bad day, but we're not going to let that affect us. We're not going to hold that grudge because we know in our hearts that that's not truly what they mean. It's what the devil is getting them to do themselves because yeah. We all fall into the same tricks, but it's, it's really important that we keep, you know, go out on the forefront of our heart and we see others as God sees them. And that's, that's also, we kind of rolled that up last week, too. That we dehumanize sometimes that makes it a little easier too. Be hurtful and say things that we don't mean, but if we really, you know, look at them as a child of God, then we can get through that and look at them in a different perspective and, you know, have that. That spirit and temperament of. I'm not going to get upset about this. You must be really hurting. Um, Loving anyways. It's this war, but kind of like. Yes. I understand, but I'm not going to act that way towards you. I think a lot of times, especially with this generation, we talk about it being a Mimi generation. You know, we always say, no one can do something like you can, or like, no one can do anything like I can, but we don't think about it as far as other people. Like, I'm not constantly thinking like, Eve has something so special about her, that there is something that God has designed. That only she can ever do. You know, we always think that we personally are the best and we think that we know it's best and we think that we're as great as it comes, but we don't think that way for everyone else. And so if you start looking at people and thinking like, it almost makes you emotional to even. Get to the head space where you can think this while looking at other people or even just random people. And when you think about it, like God designed this person specifically, like he has planned. Everyone's lineage so far back that this person is able to be here at this point in time. And every part of their life. History now their classes, they took their street, they lived on the people, they were raised around, like God created all of that so that this person could be the person that they were meant to be for his kingdom. Yeah. Like no one can do. The same as what you were designed to do. And that that really does make it, like it kind of connects you more on an emotional level when you look at people a lot differently, like. Sometimes a lot of, you know, the hate and things that come in, you know, with being a teenage girl and growing up and, you know, just being. Uh, part of the culture where we're kind of pinned against each other, it's hard to pin someone against up, or it's hard to be, you know, mean and hateful and jealous to someone. When you like, look at them in a different light and like, like you said, they have a purpose and. It's going to be so amazing. To see what their purpose and what God has for them. And I think that's what we kind of need to start looking, you know, at each other. That's how we need to start living at each other is like not being jealous of what you know, that should be me. That should, I should do that. I can do that too. No, they have their own special purpose that God is going to use in his overall plan. And that's beautiful, but the thing, the same thing goes for you too. Each of us are created with our own gifts and no gifts is specific. And so it's amazing when we all, you know, come together and work and use our gifts for the glory of God's kingdom. It's not just, you know, you and her, when everybody uses their gifts, it's a team effort and we're all glorifying God. And that's how, that's how its purpose is fulfilled. Yeah. That leads us into the really good point that you had. Um, you watched Sadie's podcasts. And it was all about, you know, Meeting the one and having a relationship. And so we were kind of talking about how sometimes we struggle with wanting to watch those because we're like, well, we've already found our person. Like this doesn't matter to me anymore, but. Eve had said something that, um, was talking about how, you know, your. The person that you're with is supposed to be the person that God has. For you to do the best for your, like for his kingdom and that you guys together are not going to work, unless you're both striving towards that goal or towards the same goal, but more specifically towards the kingdom of God. And we made the point that. You know, You've brought up that we both met our spouses when we were super close with God. And, you know, Eve, you were saying that you had just gotten baptized right before you met Tanner. And so. You were on such a high for Jesus and then. Suddenly the men that we're supposed to be with for the rest of our lives walk in. And so it kind of brought up the point that maybe at one point you. Get to a roadblock as far as what you can do alone for Christ. And that he brings in other people. And for us, it may have been a spouse that's going to. Push us closer to be closer with God and to do things for our kingdom or for me. And he, that might've been like, we've always been cousins, but there was a day that we were suddenly like, no, we need to start a ministry together. And so we may have gotten to the roadblock of where we could have done something all on our own. And we decided that we needed to form together because we'd be stronger as a team. And like two heads would come together and that we would be able to. Do things for his kingdom. More than we would be able to do it for ourselves. Yeah. I really, really loved that. But the point that you brought up, because it just makes so much more sense, like. You come to an end where you can only do so much as an individual and yes, we all have gifts. And we all have our own. You know, special things about us, but there's only so much we could do alone because once we start out at each other's gifts together, that's when. You know, like I said, this is when we build. It's a really loved the point that, you know, They brought up in this podcast, which I know I bring them up, but we bring up all these every single week, but that's just who we listen to. So. But they brought it up like, It's not what they can do for you. It's what you can do together. And like how you guys are fulfilling. A purpose, like one purpose. And I had never really thought about like a marriage or anything being like that. But like we often think that we have our own individual purpose, but when you get married and you have a spouse, it's one purpose, it's our purpose. And we are striving towards. You know, heaven and the Cory of God and his kingdom. And I just thought that was really cool. You know, think about like you and yourselves. Or one. And when you are married, you were in a component and you're basically one person. And so your thoughts and things. Should be aligned and your values. Your your, your values and your beliefs should be aligned to where you guys are both striving for the same thing. Right. And so. You know, you really have to evaluate and look at your own relationships. And, you know, even though are married and you're getting married, we can still do that in our relationship. But I think. Also like when you look at, you know, when you're dating, like that's so important to really look at your values and their values. And if you guys are striving to the T, if you're not striving towards the same goal, you should reevaluate your relationship completely. But if you are, then you could keep praying and, you know, holding onto what God has for you. And maybe it is time for you guys to. You know, join in and become one. The example they used in marriage counseling. Was that your triangle, like, this is you, and this is your spouse. And together you're supposed to be like the closer you get together, the closer you get to God. And God's on top. And so your goal should be to go up and your goal should be to get closer to God. Yeah. And that's what correct. And fulfilling relationships going to be like. Yeah. I mean, even if you think about it, For people that aren't religious. What. If you don't have the same purpose, what's the point being together? Yeah. You know, like, yeah. You're not gaining anything. I really liked the point that you brought up earlier. It was like, you can't, you can't force somebody to follow God. Like you can't force somebody to be a Christian. You can't force somebody to follow a God. So if you're in a relationship where you have totally dude, two different views, You're not going to be able to change them. I'm sorry. Like it's just not going to happen. Like God can change them, but you can't change them. So. If you're heading in one direction and your partner's saying down here, then. It's just not really going to work like. God, they have a thought, y'all both have to have God at the center of your marriage. And you're both at least striving towards sin goal. Like you could be striving in your partners being completely stagnant and not moving at all. And that doesn't benefit either one of you, because you're feeling like you have to stoop down to their level to catch them up and bring them back up with you. In reality, you're just stupid down and you're going to get stuck with them too. It honestly. Scares me. And this isn't even a relationship episode, but it's kind of putting me off on this tangent that it scares me for girls in our generation, especially in this time and like this time and age, because I feel like it's so. Like, it's almost a trope and it's romanticized for there to be sunshine girl and like pouty boy or gloomy boy or a boy that you're supposed to save and fix. I feel like that's. The guy that most people go after nowadays or what they're romanticizing and these TV shows and in the books. And like, I read the books and I liked them, but it's scary to think about that in a real relationship. Because books and movies are fiction and the person has like secretly actually loved this person, their entire life, but that's not real life. And if you have a guy that's constantly putting you down and saying words that are abusive or being abusive and just, you cannot fix someone like that. You can not, you can never will someone enough. To change. And you're going to have to remove yourself from that situation. Like you need to pray for them. To be good on their own, but you're, you cannot bring yourself down to try to bring them up because you're not going to be able to bring them up. No, it's such a toxic and scary thing. No, it really is. And. Kind of like going back to when we, you know, it's we said that we prayed for our spouses and we both were in a really autumn hall for God. That's the time. If you pray. And ask the Lord if you're supposed to be with somebody. If they're not. If they're not heading the same direction as you, you miss the time till, you know, And the only reason I say this is because I've lived it. I thought, you know, Hey, I want to be this with this person for the rest of my life, please Lord, please, please, please let me happen. And then, you know, You know, a month or two later I get saved. I get baptized. And then I don't think it was any coincidence that. I'm on that. That we broke up and then I'm retainer. Like it's just like things fall into place and yes. We say this all the time. They are really hard in the moment, but if you're not. They're really hard in the moment, but you really have to look at God's overall plan for you and know that he has the best what's best for you. And it's going to. Get way better in the end, the small hurt that you feel right now. And we're not compared to the joy that you have in the end. And that's such a big percentage or a big thing that we have to get your perspective. Well, I think it even can kind of be compared to like stepping off the boat or taking that step of faith, you know, because. You were blind and you didn't even know Tanner existed. You know what I mean? So you were clinging on to something, but then you had to take that step away from that. And once you're away from that, you get your eyes open. To things that you never even knew existed. And so if I could give advice to girls in high school, I would be like, this is not it. The guys that you are meeting right now, when you're living it every single day, it seems like these are the only option that you have. It seems like they're the only people in the world and you're just in this small bubble. Even in college, you're going to move to college and you're going to be there. And you're going to meet people and you're going to think, ah, this is it. That's not even it, after that, you're going to go off and you're going to get a job. And then you're going to be able to meet people at this job. And then you could go to church and you could make it's actually endless. Yeah. And you just have to keep praying, because I remember when I was in high school, I was like, this is it. None of them want me, and this is it. Like, this is as big as it's going to, like, if I can't like, I'm never going to find someone I'm never going to get married. I'm never going to end. I was in high school. Like that was such a small percentage of the people that I was getting to meet in my life. But it's about. Taking that step of faith. But we think that we know it's best. And we think that we need to hold on to these things and these people, because we think that that's all that there is because we haven't even seen it yet. Yeah. But as that's so good and. It's all in, according to God's plan. It's just because that, you know, we met. Our spouses. Uh, high school, right in high school. It doesn't mean it's going to be the same thing for everybody. Like we said, everybody has different gifts. Everybody has gone has a different pot, Tom on for everyone. The important thing is that you keep God's center focused. And he's going to lead you where you're supposed to be. Like you get, you're going to hear it a fond on what you're supposed to be with. If you have gotten this inner focus of your heart and you are watering your seed and growing your garden. You're going to meet the one that you're supposed to be with. You're going to, you know, God is going to lay that out for you plain as day. But I just, I really. I don't know why this is on my heart, but I'm really just want to like, say that you can't change someone. You, you can't like. It's so important that you open your eyes to what God has for you in. Just know that we've been there. We've tried to change that. We've, we've sat down and we're like, oh, but he's better when he's with me. Like if I, if I let him go there. So tell him what he would do. Like it's better off with. If we stay in a relationship because you know, he's going to be way better off with me than he is on his own. But look, what's going on with. What's happening to you all the while you're letting them walk all over. You. And treat you like crap, but you're wanting to hold on to him so bad. Yeah. Yeah, and we think that we're doing good. We trick our mind to think, oh, but we're keeping them accountable. No. I mean, maybe, maybe for him now. Yeah. And keeping him accountable because he's lying to you. Yeah. That too. Because you have to. Let's see what. Let's go at all while you thought you were changed again. He was lying to you. It was, it was all the joke. It was all fake. You've got something you want to tell us. I'm just being real. It's so hard y'all it is hard. And like, that's kind of the reason, you know, we just, we started this podcast is because we know what it's like and. We've been there with no. Like, I don't think we're laughing at ourselves. I know what we put up with and if I. Like, I just want to girls that I don't even know. I just want to shake you and be like, no, don't do it, Brian. It's smarter than me. And I mean, I didn't even really do things that stupid, but I just like, let guys. Keep dragging me along for no reason, because I thought there's no other guy. This is it, it has to be one of these, these people, because that's all that's in. That's all that's here. Yeah. We have gone away for off. Topic, but I think it's really important. And it's just. You really just have to keep God in the center focused and know that there's there is bigger and better things out there and don't sacrifice your beliefs for somebody else. Yeah. Never, never, ever do that because. I've been there. I stooped down to way low things that I should never been a part of, but you can never sacrifice your values and beliefs for somebody else because you think that you're saving them. Or do you think that they're the only one for you and. You're you're, you're bringing them closer to God. Most of the time, most of the time, it's not the care coming down to where they are and it's not beneficial for you. You, you may think that they're. You know, they're benefiting from your, your experience. And they may be, but. You really have to look at yourself and be like, where the heck am I like, am I going to grow from this? And. It's just kind of like, I don't, I don't want to throw her cousin under the bus. Just kinda like, knew that was, she wasn't supposed to be with the one that she was with. And she just kinda like sat around and was like, That was it. And not to say these people are bad because you know, it'd be works on us all, but sometimes we are just not meant for that, for that. Yeah. We're just not meant to be with that person and God can work on them later. But I think. At the end of it, like, he will show you whether this is the path. Like he's going to keep giving you the signs, but it's whether you want to listen to it or not. Like she could have ignored it and she could have been like, I'm fine. And she could have went and then she would have been miserable on down the road. But if you listened to the voice of God, he's never going to steer you wrong. No. And I think too, we know because deep down, like there's always a root of a problem. Most of the time. We're not happy. We may think we are. And we may think this is the best. But most of the time, we're not happy. My mom always just telling me when we were dating, like this is the best it's going to get. So you better love it. Like, he's not going to get any better when you write or do you're married. Like it's not going to get any better when you have kids. This is what it's going to be. The best moments are right now when you're dating engaged in newlyweds. Like, so if you're not happy now, imagine how much worse it gets. Yeah. I think it's important to think about that. Like, As. I always say as this generation, but it's so true. Like everything's prolonged now. And. People don't even think about kids right now. Like it's not even a thing. But when you are dating, please think about children because you need to know, does this person align with my morals? And is this going to be how I want to raise my kids? Because. Marriage has such a huge commitment and it doesn't seem like it nowadays, because all you have to do is go down to the courthouse and get divorced. But if you're actually getting married to be in the covenant of God, you are not supposed to get divorced. And. You cannot just jump into a marriage with someone and then realize that you want to completely raise your kids differently. You don't want to go to the same churches or all of these different things, because it's going to get so much harder when you actually have kids and then there's other lives involved. Yeah, that's, that's an important. You, you really, really do have to look at the overall picture when you're everything. Uh, absolutely everything, um, on that podcast does. This isn't too. They were like, Say that these people come to them for marriage advice and he's like, well, you didn't ask the Lord or yourself was, you didn't get the right one. And that's really scary to think about like, personally, it scared me too. Cause I was kinda like, what do you mean? but I think it's more of, did you ask the Lord if this was the right one for you? Did you look at the overall picture? Did you look to see how your kids were going to raise? Did you. You know, evaluate their belief system. Do they do the, your morals run up with their morals? Like it's so important to look at every aspect because. As a Christian, we should be dating to marry. And if we are not seeing. Husband materials and this may, and then we need to run. Yeah, because. And I mean, the Lord can change people. I'm not saying that he can't. But he's going to change them on their own time. And by the time that YouTube meet up. And our supposed to be together. You should be ready and you know, willing to lay down your cross and bear arms for the Lord. And that's the way marriage is intended. That's the way. You know, God has it. We were supposed to, you know, five for the kingdom of God together. And there's a Bible verse two that says, like to find someone that's equally yoked with you. Like the Lord doesn't want you to be with someone that's not a believer. He. If that was your time, the person would be ready. Yeah. I also kind of like. I weed me and Tanner talks about this in the, you know, one of our, our relationship episode. We knew we wanted to marry each other. We met my senior year of high school. And. I knew that I wanted to marry him. He knew he wanted to marry me. We both got ready. We weren't ready. So we broke up for two or three months. Can't remember. But, um, We needed to grow and we knew it was not our time. And when we got back together, we were 10 times better. I mean, sometimes the Athens where you have to, you have to grow, you have to go apart and go separate ways and what's meant to be yours will always come back to you. I'm a firm believer in that. But you have to grow on your own before you can build something else. And I think that's kind of like this really. Hand in hand with, um, us going so far by ourselves that we kind of met our full potential as a single person. But now we're ready to add on that new thing. And it's just, it's really cool to see how God works and God's timing because we were both ready. And here we are here we are. One week away from you get into being Mrs. So excited. We got really off topic. Hey, but you know, It will all tie in. It's all, it's all God's word and God's plans. So God has a purpose for everything. I think that was what we were, our next point was is that God does have a purpose for everything. So if you're. Struggling right now, or if you need a word of encouragement to. Step out and your faith step out. We just like. If this is your son, step out of your faith and. Go after what he has for you. Yeah. Like leave and join what he needs you to do. And what you've been praying for. He's telling you to go and run to him. I love the wording of the last point that I have. Um, Pastor Robbie said this at long haul. And I think this was like a year ago. From the sermon. But it says, Jesus, doesn't save you from something. He saves you for something that's so good. And so it's not, when we're crying out to God, it's not necessarily that he's, you know, like, yeah, this is really bad. I need to save her from that. It's more of, yeah, you're right. I'm not done with you. Let's fix this. You know, he has a purpose for you and he. If you're still hearing, you're still breathing, then that means that you're, he's not finished with you. And that if you asked him, you could be doing things for the kingdom of God right now. I think that kind of goes into while we always say, if God has things laid out for us, then why does it matter what we do? And. I think that it shows you that. His way is going to be better. And that he's not saving you. To get you out of that safe. Out of that situation you saving you. For something. Yeah, he said, It's he people, I think get misconstrued that since God has a plan for us, it doesn't matter what we do. We can send as much as we want, because he'll put us back on course, but he won't necessarily put you back on course. Everyone has free. Will. He just knows the potential you have for your life. Yeah, because he has set you up to be able to have the best life possible for his kingdom. It's up to you on whether or not you follow out those plans. That kind of goes back to just, you know, Your gift. And God gives the gift to everyone. And he wants you to use that gift to your full potential. And you can't use your gift for, to your full potential. If you're indulging in sin and, you know, Living a life that's not meant for the glory of God. And that's so important to look at just in every aspect of your life. From, you know, growing good habits to finding your spouse, to just becoming the woman that you're supposed to be. And honoring, you know, God's word and you know how we're supposed to live out as a woman. Even men too. I don't know if I'd even listen to this, but you know, and we all have a purpose. Whole plan and it's, what's so beautiful about our God. And I kind of wanted to read the. Yeah. Um, the Bible verse that you picked out for us, then I kind of wanted to just end with that. And it's Ephesians two eight through 10. It says, God saved you by his grace when you believed. And you can not take credit for, this is a gift from God. Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done. So none of us can boast about it for we are God's masterpiece and he created us a new in Jesus Christ. So we can do the good things he planned for us long ago. So, yeah. He has a plan for you. He's got your life planned out. Just ask him. And dive in with faith. And take that step. Take the leap of faith that you need. Today, what you got to do, whether that's starting, you know, another, another 41 days. To become the person that you feel like you should be, whether you're starting your first 21 days, whether you're just trying to get through this week. Um, we love you. We pray for you. Um, we'll see you soon. We can't wait. Um, there are a lot of Easter eggs in here. For our next season. So we're excited. So, yes, it is for try and guess, um, But we'll see you guys soon. And we want you to remember that you're more precious than rubies cyl.